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Tracker Jokes

You know you're a Tracker when....
..you can identify scat by the taste.
..there are more brains in your freezer than in your head.
...your idea of a tanning salon is a rack and a bucket of brains.
...your idea of a mansion is a two-person debris hut.

  • how many Trackers does it take to change a light bulb?
    none, they use wideangle vision.
  • how many Trackers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    none, they make a primitive lantern.
  • how many Trackers does it take to change a light bulb?
    none, they light a potato chip.
  • how many Trackers does it take to change a light bulb?
    none, they put on blindfolds and listen for the drum.
  • how many Trackers does it take to put out the light?
    one, but he's gotta be damn good with a throw stick.

  1. You know you're a Tracker when your idea of entertainment is bear smacking.
  2. You know you're a Tracker when wide angle vision almost causes you to rear-end the car in front of you.
  3. You know you're a Tracker when your idea of telecommuting is the Sacred Silence.
  4. You know you're a Tracker when your favorite toothbrush is a half chewed hazel twig.
  5. You know you're a Tracker when loosing your bow-drill bow is far more devastating than loosing your car keys.
  6. You know you're a Tracker when the first thing you do each morning is wipe the debris out of your eyes.
  7. You know you're a Tracker when you look to small children to figure out what you are doing wrong in life.
  8. You know you're a Tracker when you find yourself stalk walking to meat section in your grocery store.
  9. You know you're a Tracker when you idea of a romantic date is crawling down animal runs with your companion on a Saturday night.
  10. You know you're a Tracker when on Christmas day all of your presents are frozen under three feet snow out by the Christmas tree.

You know you're a Tracker when there's more debris in your car than the eastern deciduous forest.
You know you're a Tracker when you won't throw away a stick because it might belong to somebody.
You know yer a Tracker when you won't throw a stick away cuz it might be sumpthun.
You know yer a Tracker when you can build a debris hut in your car.
You know yer a Tracker when you don't have to leave yer car to track mice.
You know yer a Tracker when yer idea of a babe magnet is a debris hut built for two.
You know yer a Tracker when there's more dirt between yer toes than first and third at yankee stadium.

How do you hide a candy bar from a Tracker student?
Put it under a bar of soap.

You know you're a Tracker when...
  • Running water means a nearby stream.
  • You've studied tracking all your life only to be shown up by a little boy who's been blind since birth.

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