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Stories & Jokes
Tracker Jokes
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You know you're a Tracker when....
..you can identify scat by
the taste.
..there are more brains in your freezer than in your head.
...your idea of a tanning salon is a rack and a bucket of brains.
...your idea of a mansion is a two-person debris hut. |
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- how many Trackers does it take to change a light bulb?
none, they use wideangle vision.
- how many Trackers does it take to change a lightbulb?
none, they make a primitive lantern.
- how many Trackers does it take to change a light bulb?
none, they light a potato chip.
- how many Trackers does it take to change a light bulb?
none, they put on blindfolds and listen for the drum.
- how many Trackers does it take to put out the light?
one, but he's gotta be damn good with a throw stick.
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- You know you're a Tracker when your idea of entertainment is
bear smacking.
- You know you're a Tracker when wide angle vision almost
causes you to rear-end the car in front of you.
- You know you're a Tracker when your idea of telecommuting is
the Sacred Silence.
- You know you're a Tracker when your favorite toothbrush is a
half chewed hazel twig.
- You know you're a Tracker when loosing your bow-drill bow is
far more devastating than loosing your car keys.
- You know you're a Tracker when the first thing you do each
morning is wipe the debris out of your eyes.
- You know you're a Tracker when you look to small children to
figure out what you are doing wrong in life.
- You know you're a Tracker when you find yourself stalk
walking to meat section in your grocery store.
- You know you're a Tracker when you idea of a romantic date
is crawling down animal runs with your companion on a Saturday
night.
- You know you're a Tracker when on Christmas day all of your
presents are frozen under three feet snow out by the Christmas
tree.
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You know you're a Tracker when there's more debris in your car
than the eastern deciduous forest.
You know you're a Tracker when
you won't throw away a stick because it might belong to somebody.
You know yer a Tracker when you won't throw a stick away cuz it
might be sumpthun.
You know yer a Tracker when you can build a debris hut in your
car.
You know yer a Tracker when you don't have to leave yer car to
track mice.
You know yer a Tracker when yer idea of a babe magnet is a debris
hut built for two.
You know yer a Tracker when there's more dirt between yer toes
than first and third at yankee stadium. |
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How do you hide a candy bar from a Tracker student?
Put it under a bar of soap. |
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You know you're a Tracker when...
- Running water means a nearby stream.
- You've studied tracking all your life only to be shown up by a
little boy who's been blind since birth.
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